Last Days

So here I am enjoying the last days of my summer vacation. This summer I'm a bit sad about summer vacation coming to an end. I know what you're thinking: "Duh, Patty! You're sad because you have to go back to work." Although this is true there is a different sadness to it that I can't quite put my finger on. (Wait, did I say that right, Jen? You know how I get my sayings all mixed up.) I've narrowed it down to a few possible reasons. Maybe if I ramble about my thoughts one of you can pin point it for me. Sort of like free therapy!

This summer I moved into my new house. (Yes, yes, I know I haven't posted pictures. So sorry. Will get those up soon...guess I better take them first!) I've officially lived here for a little over 2 months. A few of you were on the emotional journey with me of trying to find the perfect house for me. Now that I'm all moved in I feel like I'm leaving my child behind whenever I leave it. Then there is the addition of my boyfriend living here to add. I have to say that I've definitely had to adjust to that but things are going good.

Moving to my new house also brought me closer distance wise to my sisters. They both live out where I do and I've become closer to both. I spent so much time with my older sister and her boys. Have to say that right now I'm going through withdrawals because the boys have already started school, and my sister and I are both teachers so we start soon. My other sister and I talk on the phone more often. She's a crazy gal and cracks me up.

This summer I got the calling. I am FINALLY ready to leave the classroom. In 2005 I graduated with my educational leadership degree and passed my certification test to become a principal. Of course you have to be an assistant principal first but I hadn't heard the calling. And I felt like I needed to be an exceptional teacher myself before I could lead teachers to be the best they could be. Well this summer at a leadership conference I sat among assistant principals, principals and counselors. We held conversations and I have to say that I could hold my own. I was knowledgeable and had great input. Although I heard the calling too late and didn't apply for any assistant principal positions, I have applied for a couple of literacy coach positions available at some schools including my school. The thought of leaving the classroom deeply saddens me. But I have a passion and love for curriculum and feel that by helping teachers I'm still helping the students. I have to say that not being a classroom teacher feels like part of my identity is being taken from me. Also, if I were offered that position at another school then I would leave behind all the great people I met when I moved back home.

I will admit that there are some definite ups to going back to work. I do love my job. And if it is God's will for me to remain in the classroom then that is what will happen. I will gladly remain in the classroom. I have many things to be thankful for. A family I actually want to spend time with and miss, a job in a time when things can be uncertain, a boyfriend that loves me unconditionally, and now my very own house. I guess this was the summer of all summers and I'm sad to see it go.

Opps I forgot!!!
I have a fear...that this year will not compare to last year. I had the perfect class, with the perfect teaching situation with my co-teacher, the perfect student intern, perfect parents and perfect co-workers. Last year Jen and I carpooled and we had a blast. I'm sad to let all of that go and to be disappointed this year. So I guess I'm sad and afraid. Great!!!! Now it's two emotions. I'm a mess! :)