Saturday, September 5, 2009

I Ponder Endlessly

I was on Facebook catching up with friends when I linked over to my friend's new blog. I am so excited and proud that she has decided to tackle the giant task of training for a marathon. What I'm most impressed with is that she by no means is your "marathon usual" person. She, like so many of us, is not in the best physical shape. And somehow I believe she will do exactly what she sets out to do.

And so now I am lost in thought at how hard it is for me to get motivated in losing weight. I know that for those of you that have read my blog for a while you know how I've tried over,and over to beat the obesity demon but just can't. And so I asked myself what is the difference between those that succeed and those that do not? What did they do that the others did not? I know for me I've realized that I make justifications excuses that lead to my failure. Everything from how ex
pensive eating healthy is to lack of support. Oh and not to mention that being a teacher doesn't help. Often we are "buttered" up with sweets and mountains of sugary, sweet things.

And to be honest, I'm not sure what my purpose in writing this post was. Was it for input? Was it to just put down on paper, err on the internet, a more solid plan? Or was it just to clear my head? In the end, I think God will unveil his plan for me. Yet as I'm about ready to to publish this post I've had one last thought. I know that I can be healthier, and I know that I want to live longer, but is it also possible that I am happy exactly the way I am? And maybe, just maybe that was God's plan all along.

Dear God,
I know that I've had many such conversations with you about what my place is in this world. I wonder if I'm really doing what you set out for me to do. And now I'm adding one more question. In a world where most people are so health conscious, is it possible to just be happy even though I know I am unhealthy? Is that part of your plan too?
Terribly confused,

I'm sorry to those who may be offended that I just publicly posted my letter to God.


Elida Madrigal said...

Patty I am so honored that my blog is inspiring you! I have always felt the same way.. what is it about me that can not succeed? I am running and working towards this goal, but it's the biggest challenge I have ever faced and I am learning so much about me and how I tackle challenges. I am always struggling with my weight.. I haven't lost much despite my running!! I just want to say that you are not alone in the weight loss struggle and WE can be healthier and make better choices. It will be in God's timing and He will be strong for us. Good luck this week! and I will be thinking of you and checking on you. Just one more thing.. when I first started running I started very small one min run and then walk for a min. Then I increased it 2 min run/1 min walk. 3 min run/1 min walk sometimes 1.5 min walk. hee he. I can find the link that I used to get started. After 20 minutes I was DONE! and exhausted. I felt so dumb next to those people in the gym that were running at 5.0 mph, but I kept going on my plan and I think the biggest thing I am learning from my training is it's about what I can do not what everyone else is doing. I know I am pushing myself and it doesn't matter that everyone is WAY ahead of me or how long it takes me. Good luck this week and I will be thinking of you! :)

Little Ms Blogger said...

Maybe it is to just put it out there so you're accountable to others.

For me, dieting without telling anyone makes it easy for me to cheat/fail - whatever.

Announcing to others, has helped motivate me to do something.

Maybe that is why you put up this post.

Amy said...

This is a great post. I think you can do anything you put your mind to. You finished school, and are doing everything so you can be an AP someday. You have made many changes in your life Patty. Plus you just bought a house. You go girl.

Sandy said...

Patty, I'm praying for you to get well, soon! Being sick is a real bummer.

Kristen said...

I love that you posted your letter to God! I write letters to God like that all the time :) A lot of times I find it easier to write them out and make sure my thoughts make sense to me than just ramble on :) Although I am sure He doesn't care!